10 reasons
by CraZYdUCKIE
Summary: 10 reasons for everything, beginning with... 10 reasons I love Severus Snape, definitely a joke. Please don't interpret anything from my first chapter as serious. Anyway, please read, enjoy and review! Also, feel free to read my other stories...
1. I love Severus Snape

10 reasons I love Severus Snape:

1. Greasy, unwashed and dandruffy hair is really...um ... sexy?

2. The fact that he's in love with a dead woman who can't stand the sight of him really... means he's sensitive?

3. He's stylish, because black never goes out of fashion... and he never changes his clothes.

They were white once, you know

4. Tattoos are really hot... specially ones of skulls eating snakes...yeah.

5. He's like, resident Bat King, which means that he's royalty- think of the jewellery!

6. As a teacher he terrifies his students, and manipulative bastards really do it for me... This is why Dumbledore is hot...

7. He's good with potions, so he can probably cook... breakfast in bed... probably greasy, too...

8. Big noses are really attractive nowadays... because I said so!

9. A complete lack of any moral code is awesomely... um... non-conformist, in a school full of

teenagers?

10. Dying at the hands of a giant reptile is at the top of my to-do list as well...


	2. Dumbledore is a BASTARD!

10 reasons that Albus Dumbledore is a complete and utter manipulative bastard

1. He took the Elder wand for himself

2. The made it a point to not tell Harry about his godfather, his parents or anybody else in his family

3. He left Harry to his abusive relatives instead of protecting him at Hogwarts

4. He killed his sister

5. He caused a rift between himself and Grindelwald without thinking about the consequences

6. He wears Christmas cracker hats for no reason

7. He still uses a chamber pot instead of a toilet

8. His EYES TWINKLE!!!

9. He is too lazy to just magic the castle clean and instead uses house-elves

10. He presents an innocent façade while still remaining a complete and utter manipulative bastard

This list is a bit retarded in that I haven't expressed myself properly and that the reasons suck. Some are funny, some ore outrageous in a bad way and some just suck. But I feel like that's the way it must be. sigh.

Next up will be 10 reasons Lily and James Potter just HAD to die. This will definitely be a funny one (or an attempt at funny anyway), as I personally cannot see any real reason that they should have, mostly because they were romanticized by J.K.

Read and enjoy!

CraZYdUCKIE


	3. They just HAD to go!

10 reasons that Lily and James Potter just HAD to die

1. They hung out with an officially "dead" guy, a man-eating werewolf, a convicted felon and were being chased by an egomaniacal nutter. James' school rival was in love with his best friend, who was James' wife. They would probably drop dead just from the stress!

2. Lily spent six years trying to convince James that she hated him, only to marry him and have a child by him!

3. They trusted Dumbledore to send Harry to a good home… presumably, with good people in it…

4. They wore dresses- both of them

5. They carried sticks around to protect themselves. Small, breakable sticks to ensure that their family was protected

6. Lily had red hair and green eyes, while James had brown eyes and black hair. Don't these people know anything about colour coordination?

7. James flew around on a big stick to throw a ball through a big hoop. And he called it sport.

8. Lily never became an Animagus. And everybody knows that to become an awesome character in Harry Potter, you need to be either an Animagus, have a scar on your forehead, posses a sense of humour or have a completely outraged view on blood purity prejudices.

9. The school where they met had the motto, "never tickle a sleeping dragon". So apparently they rely on mottos to give them commonsense advice, and on meddlesome Headmasters to give them answers

10. James was Irish and didn't binge-drink regularly. This not only defies the laws of the universe, but also shocks the known world to the point where a time-warp is created and the universe implodes- so, to simplify things, he just died.

This series was initially a one-shot, so this announcement is to announce that I am bored and out of ideas. Throw me a one-liner and I'll make it a chapter.

Bored to tears,

CraZYdUCKIE


	4. Peter Pettigrew should have lived

10 reasons Peter Pettigrew shouldn't have been killed.

1. He's a rat, and rats shouldn't be killed. They should be EXTERMINATED!

2. He was the tag-along, the sidekick's sidekick, who really should have been treated better.

3. His initials are the same letter!

4. Umm…. He actually thought up an idea, to get Sirius to swap secret keepers! Oh wait, that was dearest Lord V… I'll keep thinking on this one…

5. He has whiskers, and people with whiskers shouldn't be viciously murdered. They shouldn't betray their friends either…

6. He bit Crabbe!

7. He was a bad pet to Bighead Boy, which pretty much justifies itself…

8. He's self-sacrificing; he cut off his own finger to send the good guy to jail- is that loyalty or what?

9. His name is Peter, which means rock, which means he should stay…

10. All the other bad guys are also on the loose, and Avada Kedavra gets really repetitive after a while… He isn't worth the effort.

------------------------------------------

Soz for the late post guys, I was being lazy… Next chappie will be 10 more reasons to love Severus Snape; I just can't help it!

More ideas would be welcome…

CraZYdUCKIE


	5. Lord V should rule

10 reasons Lord Voldemort should rule the world

1. He would make Snape wash his hair

2. know-it-all muggleborns would no longer annoy the students of the next generation

3. everybody would have a badass tattoo by default

4. Fights between three-year-olds would be reduced to, "I'm right and you're wrong. _Avada Kedavra_"

5. Political debates would be reduced to, "I'm right and you're wrong. _Avada Kedavra_"

6. Umbridge would be forbidden to cough

upon pain of death

7. Quantum of Solace would make sense

8. Nimbin would have literally _Magic_ mushrooms

9. He has cool eyes and everybody know that people with cool eyes should rule (Blue twinkly eyes, anyone?)

10. His head is shiny.

*Nimbin is the town in Australia with the largest percentage of potheads/ druggies in the population. AKA drug central

A New Year present for you all. hey, i know it sucks, i wrote it in five minutes.

love

CraZYdUCKIE


	6. They just BELONG!

10 reasons Hermione and Ginny belong to each other

1. Well, Harry and Ron sure don't deserve them, and Mary Sues should stick together, right?

2. They could have bushy-and-cherry-red-haired children with freckles! Well, not really… but they are cute to imagine!

3. They have the same colour eyes! Mud brown…

4. This would allow Harry and Ron to also pursue their happiness in their own closet…

5. Neither of them is going to get pregnant by their irresponsible boyfriend, right? Just their irresponsible girlfriend…

6. They have both been rescued by strong handsome and brave men, so they would immediately go for the other rescuee, not the guy right?

7. Cause the geek is _supposed_ to fall for the gorgeous Quidditch player! It just so happens that the jock is a woman….

8. It's like Juliet and Juliet, a forbidden romance- the pureblood and the muggleborn, together forever…

9. Nobody would see it coming…

10. And last of all, it is the only way to make Draco Malfoy cry.

Full of inspiration today aren't I?

CraZYdUCKIE


End file.
